i hate this shit. when its my wife’s decision to get/do something, she always starts the conversation but the person regularly turns and talks to me.

i dont know what the fuck my wife wants, im here as arm candy. you deal with her.

i had to tell the same salesman this 4 times in the same 2 minute conversation when we went to pep boys.

theres always that one sibling… : D

new coke problems

its not terrible, it just sucks that its not automatic. i am not on windows and dont want to be treated like i am.

when you cant get or afford health insurance, you take what you can get.

it fucking sucks when the pot is empty, so if you kill the joe, you make some mo’

i see bourbon in our future

nevada be like “only 30%?”

[drops protected land]

yeah - the dogwhistle language was pretty much “jail the brown people”.

i’m sure my mother is estatic. she told me she is scared all the time because one of her neighbors is chinese (she doesnt know them or talk to them; i have never met them… and neither has she, officially). that is the only basis for her fear - she makes up stories about them and everything. the last story she made up was how they were running an international crime ring to get more chinese people to live near her…

fucking white people :(

“Piratize [sic] social security” is my favorite sign, hehehehe

(in regards to the first paragraph) there are more than two reasons to play video games. “choose one of these pre-selected answers” is probably not the reason for most.

pea juice*

peas do not have nipples.

well yeah, kids suck. wife and i agreed to not have kids because we hate them. <.<

i get fined if i have a garden in my front yard unless the ground is covered by 50% or more “green”. its fucking dumb.

my lawn is even slightly out of the way and behind a short fence. its like the perfect spot for free food for everyone walking by.

NOVA! D:

i see local bands once or twice a year; however my wife goes more often, about every other month. i dont go to big shows. i always buy at least one thing.

i have a decent job, so i need to share the love even if i dont want anything.

i’ve never had eggs and sausage gravy, but it sounds pretty good.

was it any good?

not a paywalled

bill charged you?

wait, you did you give him your travel receipts for the tribal retreat, right?

<3

Oh, thats just Bill from accounting.