Offer potato

I’VE ONLY PLAYED THE FIRST. I’VE BEEN MEANING TO PLAY THE SECOND.

No, it’s a pocket for Kevin.

I SAID NO LOLLYGAGGIN

WHAT GAME IS THIS FROM? THIS IS AN AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS QUOTE AND I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY THE GAME!

Happy birthday!

I will now!

He was shot around 10:15 pm on April 14 and died across the street at 7:22 am on April 15.

The first woman to be executed by the US federal government was executed as a result of Lincoln’s assassination. Her name was Mary Surratt and her youngest son, Johnny, was considered Booth’s “right hand man”.

I was about to comment something along the lines of “You add water and drink it, dumbass” but then I realized that it does not, in fact, say metamucil. I’m the dumbass.

Any time I can’t pet the dog.

I work with special needs students. This semester I’m 1 on 1 with one of the cutest Down Syndrome girls ever. Yesterday she just did NOT want to go to her culinary class. She just wanted to go home after being at school for only an hour. There was no budging her.

Today, not only did she go to culinary, but she had a blast taking part in the lesson. I had a blast watching her.

Now I’m laying in bed and my partner has fallen asleep spooning me. I’d say my day is going pretty well. Nice start to the weekend.

I know a lot about the Lincoln assassination.

I can have a profile pic?

HomesliceAbe approve of s20 origin story

Coffee break!

We should give death row inmates a choice: capital punishment, or be used in place of animals for product testing.

The FBI or CIA wanted me dead, so they hired Deadpool to take care of me. He thought he’d be too recognizable in his red suit, so he put on a disguise over his suit: a Deadpool t-shirt. Then he chased me through a massive warehouse doing some sick parkour stunts.