I was looking for my drill driver the other day and I distinctly remember myself thinking “good luck finding this future me, you asshole.” It was in the back of my wife’s car for some reason.

If Nike launched a line of formal wear it would be called Nichael.

And not buying stuff that comes from slaughterhouses and factory farms.

Reminds me of that olive oil coffee Starbucks was selling that caused people to shit their pants.

Weird, at my company they changed it to “flesh asset repair and removal.”

Who would have imagined that a department called “human resources” wouldn’t have your best interests in mind?

God: "This little guy is called a ‘wolf’. He may look cute, but don’t get too close. He’s got sharp teeth, he hunts in a pack, and he’ll hang out on the edge of your village, steal your food and kill your livestock.

Humans: crying “I can change him!”

God: “Ok, fine I guess. You guys are no fun.”

Could you imagine the stories that would circulate in the playgrounds? “I heard the Linux fairy is close. Timmy can’t play Roblox in class anymore.”

For a while I was just dumping my discard into a hot oiled pan to make a nice little pancake. Some scallions, sesame seeds and teriyaki sauce for toppings. It’s a lot to eat on the regular though.

Whoever loses, America wins.

1.5 Blame the problem on marginalized groups.
2.5 Harm said marginalized groups.

You shall not pass!

This is so sad. I’m going to go home right now, give my wife a big hug, and tell her that she is slightly more important to me than corporate cyber security.

https://youtu.be/JARfNkd7eoI

This Jungle Hijinx cover is incredible.

Very thoughtful and nice comment. Thank you!

The ownership, energy cost, reliability of responses and the ethics of scraping and selling other people’s work, but yeah.

When you’re trying to do the oz to gram conversion in your head because you think you might have taken too many mushrooms.

https://www.tuftsdaily.com/article/2024/03/4ftk27sm6jkj