Super Mario Bros. Movie 2

Mario (Voiced by Chris Pratt): “N-n-n-noooo, not-ah-that-ah Luigi!!! Ah-mama-miaaa!!!”

theater audience laughs mildly

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

That wasn’t nearly as NSFW as I hoped.

wtf is tax season? do u mean deer season?

Shoot me your Venmo login and I can just upload the funds directly. You shouldn’t be the only one having to do all the work of testing this, let me at least take that much off your plate.

I hear Pavarotti in my head. Neeessuuun doooormaaaaa… ⁿᵉᵉᵉᵉˢˢᵘᵘᵘᵘⁿ ᵈᵒᵒᵒᵒʳᵐᵃᵃᵃ

Aaaand now I’m listening to Nessun Dorma.

Hear me out: a giant water balloon. Roughly the size of the sun.

Sort of, but there really are huge swaths of Americans that grew up learning about “work ethic,” putting in those extra hours, etc… I still struggle to turn it off sometimes myself. And then have to learn over and over and over again that “put in extra unpaid work and it’ll pay off” is horseshit every single fucking time and I’m a fucking idiot.

That’s because you don’t lift the rock, you grind it. Try waking up earlier!

(jk)

Got 'em.

Is it the skin of other animals?

You don’t think we’d lick our own butts if we could? We already lick others’ butts. It’s purely an access/availability issue.

Not on me if your only other friend sucks ass and can’t handle a simple Steam chat to get a game going without being an insufferable dick. Or whatever.

God, they’re so beautiful.

Well we’ll never hear the baby’s side…

Trust me, you wouldn’t want to.

• Okay.
• Noooo!
• Whoops…
• Calculated.

And now you understand how quickly that can turn into “don’t blue-ball God, bro!”

Oof…there’s two sides to every story? Maybe?

I had this same thought as I was looking through cagedladies.com. Found one and thought, “come on, she looks sweet enough,” looked her up, convicted of sexual abuse. My taste remains as questionable as ever.

Looks like cagedladies.com is one of them. Not kidding.