Depression is a fucking bitch. It makes you feel like doing anything, no matter what, is futile, so you don’t. And then depression uses that inaction to legitimize itself and go “See? I told you so”. No, motherfucker, you lied to me and you still do. Depression lies its fucking ass off daily. And it’s goddamn hard to identify every single lie and refute it, but you must remember they are lies.

Yes, it sucks, and I’m busy not dying myself right now. I’m going to counseling, telling the truth to everyone, lying still and staring at the ceiling a lot, and it’s still difficult.

Keep fucking going. Because I’ve been here before, and it got better before. I expect it will get better again: for me, AND FOR YOU.

Stay away from mood modifiers, they don’t help they hurt. No pot, no booze, no sugar, even cigarettes/vapes aren’t the best. Eat more meat if you can. Drink water, not sugary or diet stuff.

I know it sounds like a lot, but fuck, if you’re ready to throw it all away anyway, give something else a chance first. Just keep going.

I really care that you stay with us. Don’t go.

Dial 988 - Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Crisis Text Line - text HOME to 741741

I had a similar outlook before, and after not too long I got help from a therapist, and I sincerely hope you do too. I’m not going to pretend or tell you I know what you’re going through, only you know that, but I, much like everyone here, can most certainly listen, if nothing else. I may not have advice on anything, but I’ll still listen.

You’re depressed and need medical attention. You can’t will yourself or out of this anymore than you can will yourself out of pneumonia. It’s an illness and needs treatment.

You can’t see the way out because it’s happening to you. Depression lies and obscures reality. You need someone else to show you the way.

There is something you can do. You can seek help. Are you willing to do that?