What was it about? Did you admit you were wrong or adamantly insist on your point? How did your interlocutor react? How would you like someone to react if you concede errors?
Oh definitely. Halfway through an argument at work with a new engineer (I’m a designer) about how revision clouding is always shortened to “rev” and how to spell that abbreviation correctly in the past tense.
Revved or reved or rec’d
I did admit when I realized I was wrong
I used to be very wrong about trans people until I talked to a trans person for about 3 minutes
When I realized it had nothing to do with sexualization and all about identity I stopped, apologized and asked a bunch of questions
My interlocutor kind of didn’t know how to handle it and it took a moment for them to defuse, as I’m sure they were expecting shouting or worse. After that we had a real meaningful conversation that gave me a lot to think about.
That’s exactly the outcome we need in the world. Thank you for sharing this.
What really sucks is how many times this conversation has started, only for the trans person to (very logically and understandably) react internally with “Ohhh boy, here we go, another one of these backwards bigots. I’m just going to yell to make myself feel better.”
Then the ignorant individual feels attacked, gets defensive, and feels satisfied in their belief that trans people are hysterical or something.
I don’t even blame anyone so much for that. Being patient with every single transphobe just in case they’re a reasonable person takes far more energy than I have.
I think many social “issues” can be resolved with empathy after speaking to an individual on a human level instead of grappling with an abstract “issue”.
The first is good but it is a bandaid, the second is an attempt to keep others from needing bandaids too
I almost always immediately admit that I am wrong, if I notice it. I do it often.
“You are right, I didn’t consider x”.
Why the hell would I insist on being right? It serves no purpose. It also just makes me seem like an unlikable idiot.
People always react positively, and it makes constructive discussions possible. They now know that I am a reasonable rational person. They also know that I have good intentions. This makes it possible for me to convince them in the future as well. Everybody benefits.
Sure, it happens all the time. Someone shows me a piece of evidence that I trust, or points out that I missed something in what they had originally said, or whatever. What else is there to do in that situation other then go ‘Oh. You’re right, my bad.’?
But I’m kinda weird, I enjoy having my beliefs and ideas challenged and I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong and updating my worldview to reflect the most accurate information I have access to.
Yes, I’d like to think I’m open to having my mind changed about things. I try to follow both left wing and right wing media (New Statesman and The Spectator respectively in the UK) to try to get both points of view on current affairs.
I don’t actively seek out media from both sides of political issues because in the US we don’t really have ‘left wing’ and ‘right wing’ media, we have media all owned by billionaires that mostly stay center-right on most subjects, and let the occasional center-left viewpoint slip through so they can seem to be unbiased. Unless I’m reading Jacobin or other actually-leftist (read:socialist) papers/magazines, all I get is right-wing perspectives.
Yeah. If I think the person isn’t being a dick I apologise.
The only times I struggle to admit I’m wrong is if my interlocutor has an attitude I find grating. Sometimes in online debates I just don’t reply and give people the last word instead of continuing a heated conversation if I think they have a point.
Otherwise happy to admit that I’m wrong if someone cites a study or whatever that says something counter to what I’m claiming.
Somewhat regularly with my wife. Not in a “wife bad” way, more “wife smart”. If it’s heated she can struggle with cooling off. But usually it’s fine
Have you ever written a proof, only to disproof your original statement in the end?
Yes.
On several occasions, it has hit me like a truck and I’ve instantly reversed my thinking. For this reason, I am open to listening genuinely to other sides, so long as they are not intolerant. But I’m a petty bitch, so I still have strong opinions until they get flipped.
Not surprisingly, people who couldn’t admit when they were wrong didn’t come into this thread and admit that they have been wrong.
Yeah. But more often I have made mistakes, then come back later to say it was a mistake. I issue corrections a lot. It’s harder to make that connection when in a heated argument.
Yeah, I think everyone has. Unless they are astoundingly arrogant.
If people were never extraordinarily wrong about things, we’d have nothing to argue about on the Internet. What a blessing!
I guess the question is how often do you realize that you’re actually on the wrong side of that argument, it definitely happens. And then what do you do next? Dig your heels in, double down and keep arguing? Or acknowledge the realization, make a concession or even apology?
Evidently, it can be hard to be a decent person (hard for all of us), when anonymity means there are no personal consequences to being a dick.
Yes.
I used to be very anti-gay because I was raised religious. One day, someone explained to me that gay people feel exactly the same feelings as straight people, it’s just they’re directed differently. Somehow, that made it all click and it just made sense.
I’m glad that age has given me the comfort to tell people when I just don’t know, and therefore, don’t have an opinion on some things.
I’m glad that age has given me the comfort to tell people when I just don’t know, and therefore, don’t have an opinion on some things.
Yeah it certainly seems to me that as people get older they tend to have fewer shits to give in general. What’s funny about it, is that while that sounds like a bad thing, it’s often a pretty good thing. It means people are more confident, confident enough to show humility, and to say what they actually think.
That’s very interesting, thanks for sharing. If you don’t mind me asking, was there an argument you had with this person or was it rather an explain situation? Did you know each other well?
We came to be good friends but were just Internet friends at the time. They were just a very patient person.
Oh yeah. Happens to me not infrequently, though less as I get older and choose my battles more wisely.
On my best days, I apologize and bow out of the discussion. On my worst days, I just ghost the entire thread.
Choosing your battles wisely seems to be good advice. I think it’s a good quality, if people can concede if they were wrong. I hsbe the impression that being wrong is too often sanctioned or frowned upon, whereas a more accepting, forgiving stance might make it easier for people to admit their errors.
I think there are definitely a lot of compounding issues that all combine to make admitting you’re wrong something that’s really hard to do. Some of them related to brain chemistry, some of them entirely societal, like you mentioned. But I do think that it’s on the person who was wrong to be the one who does the growing; it shouldn’t be society that has to pick up the slack for an arrogant and incorrect person.
