Well, that’s ten minutes of my life I’d like back. Thanks though. Does he ever listen? Ever?

Brodie-Sangster doesn’t look that young in all his pictures but Connery does look about 55, like he never was a young adult, just a kid then immediately a middle aged man.

I do also balance the carton. Not always absolute symmetry but don’t want someone to drop them.

How much better of a world? I’d be happy with half of what I have if it meant literally everyone else in the world could have that much, certainly. Move 4 more people into the house and give up half the money, half the clothes, my car, of course I would do that if it brought the same level of wealth to every single person, it would be not great at first but wow can you imagine how fast it would get better, if nobody was terribly poor? I’d bet that by the time I was old we’d personally be better off than before the split.

No, my kids are certainly diverse in sexual preference and one is transgender, but I didn’t have any sort of unacceptance. I grew up around drag queens and “theater people”.

Maybe in the other direction, honestly - I didn’t see the trans one until they literally came out by telling me, my conception of womanhood is so broad that my kid looking like a 40 year old butch lesbian did not ping any trans radar so I was surprised when they said they wanted to be a man. Not mad or anything but it took awhile to process.

Nobody else has had to “come out” or worry about the race or sex of who they are with, they can bring home whoever they are going out with and we don’t blink, it’s fine.

Cook red lentils with collard greens, mustard greens, or kale, seasoned how you like. Grill sourdough on one side in butter on the cast iron; pour lentil stew over the bread on the untoasted side, eat with all the utensils, knife, spoon, and fork or chopsticks. Yum yum.

Or simple cheese toast if not feeling like cooking. Toast bread, add cheese, broil till melted.

I may get a loquat, love them. My neighbor has one they trimmed like a bush, so all are in reach, I’d like to try that.

We had a longan tree at the old house but the wasps loved that tree so much we couldn’t harvest.

A light sleeper needs accommodations - not for you to have to be silent. Earplugs and a sleep mask, a white noise machine, blackout curtains, whatever - manage the environment so they can sleep soundly. We live in the world and if you want to live with someone it’s not going to be silent all the hours you want to sleep.

Again - I get how they can feel so hopeless about migraine, it does feel debilitating. That’s on them to manage though.

This is unlikely to be the only time your schedules don’t align. Y’all need a plan that works, not blame.

My spring garden is done, and summer one going in soon. So not much. But the last of the fennel just got harvested last week.

Putting in butternut squash, eggplant, jalapeno, tomato, sweet potato (Stokes Purple). Later will add okra and watermelon and basil.

It’s your job to manage your life and your condition. In this example you were doing that by going to the group and doing the dishes upon your return, and by communicating when you realized you would be a little late.

Similarly, it is your partner’s job to manage their life and their condition. You are not responsible for their migraines, they need to have a plan for the controlled sleep schedule they need, if that’s their trigger, a plan that doesn’t depend on you having the same schedule.

The argument, that is your fail I agree, but it wouldn’t have happened if they’d just left you the kitchen to clean and gone to bed, and woken up to a clean kitchen. Who could be unhappy with that?

Sometimes when people say they can’t do things because of the ADHD it does sound like they are just getting out of unpleasant tasks by dumping them on someone else, sure. That is NOT what you are doing here. A 20 minute delay is not a ridiculous offront.

My accommodation with the husband - I do cook supper, he cleans after. Supper is done when it’s done, not at a scheduled time but in a window of “evening”. If I cannot cook I communicate this in time for him to get us takeout. If he cannot clean he lets me know in time so I can do it.

Y’all need a good calm talk, not an argument. It’s possible you aren’t a good fit but from this post it reads like you are holding up your end of the relationship. Migraine really sucks, I get them and understand. But they cannot blame them on your 20 minute delay, that is ridiculous.

Salsa Yucateca, the natural color habanero one is delicious and not sour and muy picante.

If you ever make it to Tampa, Crazy Burrito has their very spicy dark red salsa and I am obsessed with it. It is so spicy and oh so tasty, I love it and wish they would sell me a bottle.

For chipotle, we buy a big can of San Marcos Chipotles en Adobo and just dump it in the food processor and puree. That’s our regular salsa in my household.

If you can buy or grow fresh jalapenos, roast them with some onion and food processor or chop them together with some cumin seeds and a little salt, olive oil, maybe some cilantro, splash of good vinegar.

Basically, if you can’t find it learn to make one you love. Toasted then rehydrated dried anchos with roast tomatillos is a fantastic base for a spicy salsa too. Just play around.

I don’t mean to imply that any man needs to change to please women’s “type”, even more important is that the guy be in the shape HE wants, of course. Just like I am not going to get fake boobs to please some “ideal”, neither should guys worry about any ideal. Best to please yourself and let things settle out around that. I just think it is interesting when there’s a disconnect.

I do feel happy for guys who achieve the bodybuilder physique, it’s an accomplishment worth noticing. I don’t think guys are doing that to be sexy, they are doing it as a project for themselves. I just personally don’t find it more attractive than a baseline fitness, if that makes sense, and think I’m in the majority on that, not just of women but of people.

I like guys who are in shape, broadly defined. So anywhere from whip lean and skinny to muscular and padded (which is what I’d call that pic #1).

It’s not so much about looks, as the article notes, it’s about lifestyle. I want a guy who can keep up with me. Husband is fat but lifts 5 days a week at least, he is strong and healthy and muscular, just fat, overweight not obese.

I do also have hangups about being bigger than a guy, don’t think I am alone in that, and I’m pretty tall, so lean towards the fit and padded category but tall and a little too skinny also good.

I do think most regular people who are in good shape aren’t “shredded” because that takes an obsessive lifestyle for most people , and I don’t think an obsessive lifestyle is attractive. But a level of baseline fitness is.

It’s funny but that is how looks work for me in general. Look good enough, that’s a yes, and looking better than good enough is not any more of a yes. Looks are a primary filter but a yes/no binary not a scale.

I often hear music in the fan noise, or voices in running water, if I’m tired enough - auditory hallucination, it’s funny because it absolutely sounds like it’s coming from outside my body but I know logically it’s my brain. That I do sometimes “listen to” but it’s always such awful music. Different styles all the time but never good.

And yeah vigilance is the enemy of sleep.

I have slept above the club and found it so relaxing - the thumping muted music. Even now I like when the neighbors have a party and when we can hear stadium concerts. Not sure why, it’s not exactly white noise, but I enjoy sleeping in that “music nearby but not right here” situation. I think it just makes my brain relax because it thinks things must be ok if there is a party?

Here (Florida) the county has a $30 test and treatment program so no, it doesn’t have to run through insurance, and the rule is 13 and up can go without parents. I’m sure this is what they are pushing back against.

1375? Die from malaria, I guess? Be eaten by an alligator? Or oh no, hasten the demise of the Tocobaga with my exotic biology? Either they would kill me or get me sick, or vice versa. Also, fall on my ass when my house disappeared.

I would follow the river to the bay, I guess, and see if I could find anyone, or anything I might be able to eat.

Elbow are so good!

Joshua Ray Walker “Cuz I love you”, his whole cover album really. The way he makes that Cher song into a country 2 step dance song is amazing.

Bob Schneider’s cover of Running on Empty is haunting.

It’s not so different but God I love the 9 minute November Rain by Connor Christian and the Southern Gothic.

I didn’t ever marry my ex, was irritated at how discriminatory legal marriage was back then, and we had kids so were a family anyway.

My husband now? He really wanted to be married, and “stepdad” is a different legal status than “mom’s boyfriend”, it smooths things when he had to do school pickup or doctor visit. So since he pushed and as I did see an upside we did.

Also you can’t foster or adopt here unless you are married - unmarried man in the household is a known risk to the kids he’s not related to. Statistically, it raises the risk of the kid getting hurt so single people can, or married couples but not unmarried hetero couples.

I am with you logically, I don’t need it, and don’t feel different and it’s weird for the state to license families. I understand religious marriage but am not religious.