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AncillaryJustice@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

What's a good way to break the ice with your doctor right before a colonoscopy?

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What's a good way to break the ice with your doctor right before a colonoscopy?

AncillaryJustice@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I’m not sure whether or not this was supposed to be a joke post, but I recently had a colonoscopy, and everyone was super nice and fully aware that this was an embarrassing procedure, so they did their best to make it as pleasant as you can be in a surgical waiting area.

    • NarrativeNavigator@lemmy.basedcount.com
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      2 years ago

      I felt myself falling asleep, then seemingly immediately blink awake. I said, “Doc, I don’t think the anesthesia is working,” and he said, “Ha, no man, we’re done.”

      Like you said, the prep was the worst part. There is no joy in daily living without food.

      • Fosheze@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Same here. I’ve been put under twice and both times it basically just felt like a longer than normal blink and I felt a little slow afterwords.

        • zurohki@aussie.zone
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          2 years ago

          a longer than normal blink and I felt a little slow afterwords.

          writes on notepad Patient reports heightened self-awareness following procedure.

      • ExcessiveAardvark@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I woke up in the middle of mine, got to watch the second half. Was interesting, but it probably helps to still be under the after effects ify the anyways. But definitely, there prep is worse than the actual procedure.

    • Today@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Mine too! Then i said, “It wasn’t that bad. I can’t believe i stressed over it for so long,” and he said, “Yep! You should have come in 32 years ago.” And that was the most uncomfortable part of it.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        The prep was awful. That was the part I really hated. Being so damn hungry.

    • Redditgee@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I work in Radiology, and have to do Barium enemas, frequently. As much as we love the humor, we strive to keep it medical, with patients. We all know it sucks, can feel embarrassing, etc, but we’re just trying to get the job done with the best pictures. Your physical body is kind of secondary to what our goal is.

      • Gork@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        Does it help if you say its Very Berry Barium?

        (I think Very Berry Beryllium alliterates better)

        • Redditgee@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          I’ve got a feeling they won’t know what flavor it is, but I might start asking patients what flavor they want, from now on. Thanks for the idea!

    • AncillaryJustice@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 years ago

      It was both a joke and my real life. I hope I have a similar experience. I’m a virgin after all… for this anyway.

  • Bewilderbeast@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 years ago

    “You won’t find anything. The IRS was pretty thorough.”

    • Gork@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Ha. Good one. Take my upvote and thank you for your service.

  • bloopernova@programming.dev
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    2 years ago

    Ask them if they’ll be shooting in hidef 4k or IMAX.

  • PrimarilyPrimate@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I lost my wallet, keep an eye out please.

    • meco03211@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Alternatively.

      “If you happen to see a Standing Liberty silver dollar from 1885 while you’re spelunking, I’ve absolutely no idea how it got there. But could you try to get it out?”

      • APassenger@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        “25¢” in sharpie.

  • BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    “After this can you write a note for my wife to tell her my head is not, in fact, up my ass?”

  • Extras@lemmy.today
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    2 years ago

    “My safe word is pineapple”

    • 200ok@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Ross Matthews!

    • Today@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Is that a common joke? Some people at work just told me that their safe word is pineapple.

      • Extras@lemmy.today
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        2 years ago

        Whos joking? But yeah it is haha

  • teft@startrek.website
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    2 years ago

    Put a joke on a post it note and place it between your butt cheeks.

    • obviouspornalt@lemmynsfw.com
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      2 years ago

      “We’ve been trying to reach you about your vehicle’s extended warranty”

    • Fosheze@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      The pros laminate it and insert it about 12 inches.

  • mister_monster@monero.town
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    2 years ago

    I had to get my ass checked and the doctor was surprised at my lack of shame or discomfort with it. When it was over he said “don’t come back just for this okay?”

  • bradorsomething@ttrpg.network
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    2 years ago

    With your rectum. The man sees you crush a piece of ice with that sphincter, you command some respect for the rest of the procedure.

  • fleabomber@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    You’re going to want to avoid looking like a huge ass. I’d avoid jokes that shit on their career choice.

    • AncillaryJustice@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 years ago

      Bravo.

  • Astroturfed@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Stick a lightbulb in your butt. There’s a good episode of scrubs they can watch if they don’t know how to get it out.

    • LazaroFilm@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      If you still can’t figure it out, ask the janitor.

      • 🇰 🔵 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
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        2 years ago

        The janitor hates me still for some prank involving pennies in the door… IDK, but it wasn’t me!

    • NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      how to get it out.

      Break it?

      ;-)

    • rifugee@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      That doesn’t sound like a bright idea.

  • LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Call me a good girl, daddy.

    • AncillaryJustice@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 years ago

      The genders will be the other way around, but I like the cut of your jib.

  • ohlaph@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Thumb war it is.

  • Spliffman1@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Tell him cleaning the lens first won’t help

  • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
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    2 years ago

    Ask them if they’re going to buy you dinner first.

    Ask them what their Twitch handle is because your friends want to watch the live-stream.

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