Have fun, Jon <3
Edit: I sometimes keep forgetting the meme communities on Lemmy are incapable of taking things as the joke they are. Y’all worry too much about taking shit seriously. Chill out lol
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This entire post reads "I don’t know how to camp/go backpacking.
Get yourself a travel air mattress or sleeping pad, probably a better sleeping bag. Solves the lack of sleep and sore back.
Get a proper tent that’s water proof and learn how to set it up properly so water doesn’t pool under it. Make sure the vents have good mosquito netting to keep bugs our, and never have the entry unzipped a second longer than it takes to get in and out of.
For the mice, don’t have food in unsealed containers and if you’re in bear country you should be hanging a bear bag at least 100 feet (30m~ ) from you campsite, make sure cook wear and utensils are all properly cleaned too. Some newer tents even have a pouch built in near the door to seal a bag into, minimizing the chance of something deciding to make it a new home.
All this.
I went camping in MN when it was 27 degrees F overnight a month ago. Slept like a baby. Nice and cozy. It was really nice. Camping is great if you do it right.
Were you freezing?? Propane space heater? Really good tent and sleeping bag?
No heater or anything. We weren’t expecting it to get so cold. So the tent was only a 3 season. But I go backpacking a lot, so I had good sleeping pads and quilts. Plus I brought base layers, etc.
It was brutal the next morning waking up and getting out of my quilt though. Haha
I hang my food and cooking kit even when I am not in bear country because I don’t want a raccoon to destroy hundreds of dollars in gear.
If you are bringing an air mattress, you’re probably car camping and may be able to leave the food / cooler in the trunk.
Once in Missouri I went camping with my parents and they love to cook at camp Tons of chopping boards, utensils, etc were left out overnight, which attracted dozens of raccoons. They had the coolers secure but it was still wild to see. Rookie mistake from people who actually have a lot of experience.
Also, hammock camping can be very comfortable if you have an under quilt and tarp
There are backpacking air mattresses.
Ah, true. I have several of the foam self inflating pads but I don’t really think of those as mattresses. They are very nice tho. I have seen the ones without foam that are even more portable too.
The inflatable ones are more portable in terms of size than the mats or the self-inflating ones but all 3 have their disadvantages.
Foam isn’t all the comfortable and they are bulky and hard to deal with in brush. Some are decent insulation, but most aren’t great. Most are the cheapest.
Self-inflating is more comfortable and insulating than foam, but they are often bulky and can be punctured. Some of them can still be used if they get a puncture and are just shitty foam, but that isn’t the norm. The more modern ones can pack down small, but still bigger than inflatables. You can adjust the pressure for comfort, but it isn’t super easy to adjust.
Inflatable packs down tiny and you can adjust pressure to adjust for comfort quickly, puncture is obviously a huge concern. They insulate really well and some are very insulating. These tend to be in the most expensive.
I definitely should pick up an inflatable one
They are nice, but not necessarily the best option depending on your needs and environment.
If you do get one, make sure the stuff sack is also an inflator. That helps keep moisture from getting in the pad because your breath is moist.
I love camping, and have had some great trips in the rain. Can be very comfy even with a backpack setup if you know what you’re doing.
That being said, this is hilarious.
And at least you have enough unsolicited advice to make it more comfortable if you want to go again 😅
Most of these can honestly be solved by getting a hammock with an integrated bug net, an underquilt and a tarp if it’s raining. You can get like all of that for ~$200 brand new that’s half decent. Onewind makes some pretty alright stuff for the money.
I don’t think I’m ever sleeping on the ground if I ever get a chance.
When I was like 7-9 I went on a “camping” trip with my football/soccer team.
Really, we were just putting up tents on the field we usually practiced at after some very tame river rafting.
It was the first time I was away from my parents. And I was inconsolable. I cried most of the night. To the point the supervisors offered to call my parents so I could talk to them. (And mobile phoning someone back then was not cheap),
In the end I just cried myself empty.
Because I was asleep so late, I slept into the morning and my “tent mates” pulled down the tent around me while I was sleeping.
So I woke up in drizzling rain, lying in my sleeping bag on a thin plastic sheet with no tent around me. While all my “friends” were in the club house having breakfast.
I did not stay in the soccer club long after that.
It’s a meme but you just tickled my autism.
It gets better with every single trip. I remember my first wilderness backpacking. Horrible. No sleep. Anxiety. Sun stroke.
Hundreds of trips later I sleep out of my backpack than I do in my apartment in the city. Every time you go out you dial in your gear and strategy a little more.
The thing I hate the most is not being clean which is why I don’t usually do more than 3 nights out there alone anymore. After several days of sweating I just stop having any sort of fun. And I’m a wimp for cold water and have no idea how these people are jumping into alpine lakes.
That said, though, I like your meme because it discourages other people to try it. It’s hard enough to get permits for certain trails!
I like your meme because it discourages other people to try it.
Huh? You just said the meme is relatable and if you do go camping and this happens you could do a ‘goddamn, I should’ve known’.
It’s hard enough to get permits for certain trails!
Ah, so you’re just selfish
People destroy nature, that’s just sadly how it is
Hoenstly, if youve ever seen a favourite spot or trail get absolutely overrun by instagram tourists and the general public youd understand that feeling.
Theres beautiful spots in the peak district that get so clogged up in the summer that youve got cars parked up and down every single road in a 10 mile radius.
Ive volunteered with groups that do weekly litter picks at some of these spots and trails and we’ll often run out of bags.
I dont think its selfish to wish these spots just never got discovered by the public. As soon as one of these beauty spots gets big, its a losing battle against the general public and everyone who wants to make bank from them
I hated camping as a child because I had no say in where, when, or for how long. As an adult I’m not camping alone as a woman. My husband would just die in the wilderness, it’s not kind to a guy with cerebral palsy.
I enjoy it even when it’s not wilderness camping-- drive up to a site with a level of facilities you’re comfortable with (toilet, sinks, etc), have a little bbq, do some stargazing, sleep with some nature sounds, drive home. I know those kinds of places aren’t near everyone but camping doesn’t have to be bushwhacking or backpacking.
It was lots of tents and pain until my mother said absolutely not and then it was a lot of KOA sites. That was fine! I wouldn’t mind like…being in a remote cabin.
I want indoor plumbing. We worked hard to invent that as humans, I respect it.
return to monk eustace
You wouldn’t have made it though the paleolithic era bro. You don’t have the survival instincts ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃˡˢᵒ ᶦᵗ ˡᵃˢᵗᵉᵈ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ³ ᵐᶦˡˡᶦᵒⁿ ʸᵉᵃʳˢ ᵒʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁿᵒᵇᵒᵈʸ ʰᵃˢ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ˡᶦᵛᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ˢᵒ ᶠᵃʳ
I dunno, I like my chances. Been living so far and the trend is continuing in the right direction to survive that long
I said so far cause I think that in like 150 years science will have advanced enough to make the quadrillionaire oligarchs undying and unkillable
There’s two types of camping: (1) outdoor camping, which is the shitty one ; and (2) indoor, which has pillow forts.
For me, camping is fun the day after I get home and have already had a shower, a good sleep, and put everything away.
Putting stuff away is the worst part, especially if you have to air out wet tarps
Tarps, tent, flys, cleaning coolers and drying them too, re-packing everything in storage if camping isn’t a regular event…yeah. It’s fun, but there’s a reason it’s not super common for most people.
At least your friends weren’t trampled by a moose.
Jon, Arbuckle?
This is a very inefficient method of telling everyone that you don’t know how to camp for shit.
Yeah, you should definitely have a massive hangover in the morning, too
I don’t understand drunk hangovers.
Drink water. Then you don’t have hangovers. That’s it.
You will eventually. You start feeling hangovers more and more sometimes in your late 20s or early 30s.
At some point jUsT dRiNk WaTeR doesn’t work and it will happen to you too.
I’m 38, about a year or two ago was when “drink enough water” stopped working. It’ll make you more functional, but that hangover ain’t going away until it decides it’s time to go, not you.
Not to mention if you’re out parting hard for an event you will have that hangover and feel it in other ways for two days. Heard it only gets better to as you age 🙃
Someone’s age is showing.
When i was young the water method worked but that was a long ago, it all gets fucked up later in life. I was among the first in my friend group who had killer hangovers, and by the time we reached 40 almost everyone told me something along the lines of “now i know how you felt”.
Them everybody clapped
Acetaldehyde is also produced when alcohol is metabolized and it causes hangover symptoms, no amount of hydration will solve that. It’s also the reason hangovers can be influenced by genetics
Yeah, but alcohol and water are both heavy in volume. Gotta set priorities when hauling out to the wilderness!
Alcohol is less than 80% the weight of water, so just carry that instead. Plus you have an antiseptic.
People that don’t enjoy sounding might not want to do it for reasons other than lack of skill. Same with camping.
Yeah, but if someone says “I hate sounding, stabbing myself in the balls sucks!” you’d have a pretty good idea that they are doing it wrong. There’s a difference between “I hate activity, it’s not for me” and “I hate activity, I actively participate in it in a way that is easily avoidable and will make me miserable.” It’s just a meme, let people discuss it lmao
Skill issue
I say the same thing when people say they don’t enjoy taxidermy because of the dead animal aspect.
Go to bed earlier
Never leave your tent open longer than the time necessary to get in or out of it.
Store your equipment in sealed containers when not in use (make sure to wash and dry it first!)
Self-inflating sleeping pad + better tent location solves the painful and damp sleeping conditions.
You can have an equally bad time staying at a hotel, if you do it wrong too.
- Air mattress and a good sleeping bag.
- Use a candle and a spray. You also shouldn’t get bites inside your tent.
- Fucking how? Also, if your backpack has food, it should either be in your car, suspended in the air between trees or in a locker provided by the campground.
- See 1.
- Tarps exist for several reasons, putting them above your tent and your eating area is one of them.
That’s a lot of work when you can just stay home.
Life’s a lot of work when you could just be dead instead
Being dead cuts into my masturbation time.
SHOW ME YOUR HANDS!
🖐️🥴
I notice you only held up one hand…
The real question is do you go dominant or off hand?
I feel like there’s wiggle room in between the two of those.
Holy shit, you’re right!
I gotta go do a thing. We probably won’t talk later.
Do you use the candle and spray as a flamethrower
Only for the big mosquitos
Alaskan SWAT team checking in.
- Or a cot. I’m a huge cot fan.
Not liking camping without a cot or a backpacking hammock is like saying you don’t like swimming because your jeans get too heavy.
I used to be of the “just sleep on the ground, it feels fine” mindset. Then I turned 30. My back doesn’t like sleeping on the hard ground anymore, but a cot is perfectly comfortable.
But I have jeans. I don’t want to buy, store, or transport the right scuba gear.
Then don’t go scuba diving? And don’t complain about it?
Someone wasn’t in the scouts.
Seriously. Mice? Are they homeless?
